What a morning. Today was one of the most heartbreaking moments I think I have experienced yet being a mom. The first day of Kindergarten went fine, but every day since then has been harder and harder for Lucas, and hence harder and harder for me. Zeke and I aren't sure if it's just the longer day at school or what (we've asked him MANY times and he just says that he misses us and wants to stay at home), but he has been so sad and this morning was heartbreaking. He started crying during breakfast, kept crying while I got him dressed and he was asking me the whole time not to put on his school clothes, but other clothes so he could stay with me. He was crying in the car the whole way to school asking me to turn the car around so we could go home. He was crying walking into school. I did take Matias in and so we could stay with him in his classroom for about 10 minutes -- and yes he was still crying. I was trying to be assuring the whole time telling him that I loved him and I missed him too. I was trying to stay strong but by the time I was in his room with him, I was very close to tears myself. They wear name tags with their name in a little plastic thing and in Lucas' nametag I slipped a picture of Zeke and me that I have in my wallet so he could have a picture of us, but that didn't seem to help. I sent him chocolate pudding for lunch (amongst other things of course :) ), I told him I would take him somewhere fun when he got home. I told him I would pray for him and that he could pray to Heavenly Father too if he was still sad. Finally it was time to go and I just had to leave, while he was still crying. His teacher Ms. Fisher and the other aides were nice and gave us our space and they were reassuring me as I left with Matias, but I didn't make it to the door before I started crying myself. As I was walking down the hall, a 2nd or 3rd grader saw me crying and called me a crybaby!! She said it somewhat quietly, but I still heard. By the time I got to the car, I was sobbing. And poor Matias just kept looking and me and asking Mommy? Mommy? I know he could tell something was wrong so I just told him that I missed Lucas, and he said, "Oh." I cried the whole way home and kept crying back at home. I don't care if I am a crybaby -- it felt a little better to cry. I still ache to know how Lucas is doing and can't wait to see him when he gets home. I called and left a message with his teacher to see how he's doing so hopefully she calls back soon. Perhaps more details than many of you wanted to know, but it's therapeutic to just write it all down.
6 comments:
You're such a good mom! I can't even imagine...keep being brave...both of you! I would cry too, A LOT!
Oh my goodness. That's so sad. I'm sorry to hear that the school adjustment isn't going well with Lucas. I hope it gets better.
That breaks my heart!! I definately would have cried too. I hope he starts enjoying school soon. Good luck.
That's so sad!! I think the schools forcing these little kids into all day kindergarten is horrible! That's such a huge adjustment! I'm sorry Lucas is having a hard time!! I'm sure it will get better. Don't feel bad about being a "crybaby"! I would have been a crybaby too!
We miss you guys! Tell Lucas that Parker and Mayli say hi!
That seriously breaks my heart! I'm impressed you didn't start crying until you were leaving, I'm pretty sure I would have started right up with him at home. I hope that it is going better. He is such a cute boy and I'm sure he just misses his sweet mom. Good luck!
That is so heartbreaking! I did the same thing when I had to go to kindergarten. We only lived a few blocks from the school and I used to walk home whenever we would be outside. My mom would have to take me back to school a couple times a day. I hope it gets better. I will remember him in my prayers. Poor little guy. Poor pregnant Momma.
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